The real truth behind comparing
Living in a highly competitive country, we always feels that competition is always surrounding us. Be it competing for a table in kopitiam, or queuing up for something to competing for the best results or jobs, it will be just there even though we can't feel nor see it. Since young, comparing have been instilled into my mindset. My mom will use to compare my exam results against my brother to see which one is better. Obviously the one that got the scolding will always be the one that have the worst result of all. At that young age, it seems harmless probably due to ignorant and innocence of a little boy. If we belong to different schools, maybe I will have something to backup my claims such as saying my school set tougher papers than my brother school.
But soon, it will turn to a very bad habit. As I progressed up through the education system, stress and work load increases drastically. Comparing with each other seems inevitable as standards are no longer set by lecturers but by the students itself. Each wanted to outbid, outwit each other in projects to secure maximum points before the exams. I can feel it during my poly days where occasionally our friends will ask each other what they have done or "extras" that they have added. With a higher threshold of comparing, I also upped my expectations as well which also will not be good especially groups project.
Within a group, each members have different expectations. Some low, some high, and if a member is being pushed further than his or her expectations, they might think you are pushing them to far which sometime lead to conflicts. Sometimes these conflicts are so bad that the next time round you won't be able to work with them anymore or worse bad-mouthed in front of your friends.
Due to this, I got one friend who told me that there is no point comparing coz it is just adding more stress to yourself. More stress, problems build up lead to unhappiness. Sometime I feels that the stress have been affecting my relationship. Since that statement, comparing is no longer a necessity to achieve what I wanted. I have since been less bother about comparing or rather ask myself have I done enough to get closer to my aim. If you haven't do so, probably is time to time about it and to become a more carefree person.
But soon, it will turn to a very bad habit. As I progressed up through the education system, stress and work load increases drastically. Comparing with each other seems inevitable as standards are no longer set by lecturers but by the students itself. Each wanted to outbid, outwit each other in projects to secure maximum points before the exams. I can feel it during my poly days where occasionally our friends will ask each other what they have done or "extras" that they have added. With a higher threshold of comparing, I also upped my expectations as well which also will not be good especially groups project.
Within a group, each members have different expectations. Some low, some high, and if a member is being pushed further than his or her expectations, they might think you are pushing them to far which sometime lead to conflicts. Sometimes these conflicts are so bad that the next time round you won't be able to work with them anymore or worse bad-mouthed in front of your friends.
Due to this, I got one friend who told me that there is no point comparing coz it is just adding more stress to yourself. More stress, problems build up lead to unhappiness. Sometime I feels that the stress have been affecting my relationship. Since that statement, comparing is no longer a necessity to achieve what I wanted. I have since been less bother about comparing or rather ask myself have I done enough to get closer to my aim. If you haven't do so, probably is time to time about it and to become a more carefree person.
posted by Willy @ 10:42 AM
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