What I have been doing for the past 6 mths?

Ok ok, some of you might been wondering why the blog had not been updated for 5 months or so. The reason? I have been lazy lah and furthermore someone post a comment under the nick of "Red Forces" & "Blue Forces" saying that I shouldn't post any sensitive army stuff.

On NS...
For the past 5 months, it had been a total change from one phrase of my life to another. After coming back from Australia exercise, there hasn’t been much stuff to do in army except the Chief of Army Change of Command parade and packing up my bunk to move out. In May 07, I officially step out of army and become a full-pledged civilian again. Thinking back those days, it had been filled with happiness and sadness. That makes a NS life wonderful as they’re always the Ups & Down in the real world.

Initially when I stepped out of army, I felt lost and the confidence that I used to have suddenly disappear from me. I felt so scared and nervous meeting new people. Hence I have been wondering what had got into me. Is it because of my appearance or is it just "Xin Li Zhang Ai"? Well nevertheless, I treat as a learning stage to relearn what I have lost during the past 2 years. There was so much difference from NS to real world.

Everything in NS was planned very nice but routine while the outside world is full of uncertainty. As a former commander, I can't pleased anyone even though I wish I could but what I hope from them is to find a meaning in life and pursuit what they think is best. Gone are the days where we behave like a kid instead is time to embrace new challenge in life. I hope you guys will treat me as a friend instead of a commander as that was the best part in my NS life. Call me by my name, as I don't feel comfortable in my rank title, as that was history already.

More on personal...
Well to say, my relationship with my beautiful gf is steady but normally problems lie with me much. I don't mean quarreling, but more about my personal thinking. I used to wonder that I would be studying soon and my gf is currently working full time. Will it affect our relationship since one is working and the other is studying? I admit that I am jealous who have graduated in my 1985 batch coz I will be studying for a long 4 years for my degree. I will be 26 years old by then and way behind from those who have graduated now.

But now, that doesn't bother me now coz it is the fact that I have to study 4 years. What I felt is that if a issue bother you to much till it affect everyday life why bother thinking about it and move on. Anyway, the fact is that guys will always be 2 years later than their female’s friends and poly graduates will be 1 year later than JC students.

Some of close friends might know what happen and mistake I have made 1 month before my ORD. I nearly screwed up my life over a "job" which I was trick into doing. It nearly affects my family as well as my family at that time. But after 2 weeks, I totally ignore their call and tell myself not to find them anymore and of course a much poorer guy.

Now I got a temporary job which doesn't need to harm the relationship between family & close friends and much happier coz I don't need to face the backlash from them. I also manage to give tuition on IT modules to a poly student. Very rare to find students that requires tuition on poly stuff. But at least I get to use my diploma to some use. Haha...

I like my gf character. The kind of carefree, happy go-lucky type. No worries to think or if there is worry also prefer not to think about it. Sometime, I wish that I could be like her but I can't help but think. No wonder people say I think too much coz some IT modules need to think in order to produce it. Now better don't think too much, if not I will lead an unhappy life, which can cost my relationship and studies to nose dive to hell.

Also I have to clear away one bad habit, which is not to talk so much on army stuff. Since I am already out of army, I should stay out from army related stuff. If not, some of them will be unhappy loh. Haha...

Out for now...